Since I have been absent from the blogging world I have faced many setbacks in life that had me feeling some type of way. I kept facing these battles head on and kept my faith and God saw me through. As stated in previous blogs I work with children with behavior issues and I have had the pleasure of seeing many leave successfully and go back into society ready for change and it has been amazing but I have also had to receive others who were more emotionally traumatized than my previous clients.
Anyways, it’s been crazy, I’ve been under investigation twice and oh my god it has been a whirl of emotions dealing with these kids on a regular basis but I am thankful for the experience and the lesson. Let me explain my first allegation was verbal abuse because I intervened when she was bullying another client and unlike other staff I didn’t let easily wiggle out of it without consequences. She called me and had me placed under investigation which means I was not allowed to work with her and this allowed her to act in the manner she wanted and I was upset at first because it was the first time I had been called in at this place of employment but I wasn’t worried about the investigation because I know in this type of work being called in is a regular if you’re the type of staff that actually do your job then the kids are always upset. This particular child was not used to being told no and not having her way. She later wanted to apologize to me and said she felt bad because she was taking my job from me and she just wanted to get me in trouble and it was sad to understand how much she truly believed she had the power to take my job from me, it showed how much control she had at home. I am saddened because she is 17 turning 18 and has no idea that the real world will not allow her to have that type of power and I actually don’t think she has any clue that life is about to change dramatically for her. At the job she has manipulated weaker staff to purchase her the things she need or want and she has not truly earned anything. She gives people this guilt trip and her family placed her with us because of her age and lack of structure and she has gained no progress while in our care and that is sad but the program is only successful if the child accepts the help. She is only being released due to age and that is sad. This only makes me want to get my business up and running a lot sooner so I can be the next step to give them the knowledge and help they need.
My second allegation was serious in nature but crazy in reality. I received a child who had a lot of issues going on and I was the only staff who was willing to accept this child and to be an outlet for this particular child. You see when they come in we are provided basic information on them and when reading a file some things can be horrific and no staff wants the ones they have to put in a ton of work on but it seems to be those that I end up with and it’s fine because I know it’s simple because I don’t run from those and I accept those who I feel need me the most. Well this particular child was one everyone ran from but I took my time to really sit down with her and I provided her care. She seemed to be very easy-going and I could tell she had some delays but she tried to get things right when showed how. She had a few major issues we had to address when she walked through the door and I took the initiative to get the help we needed to help her. Anyways she lasted a month and I was the only staff who was willing to deal with her and her behaviors. She would get in major trouble on my off days and when I would return she would have an amazing day but then one day our new staff got to sit with her and she was able to get her to do things we normally don’t allow certain kids to do when they have major behaviors. She started acting out more and one night she started telling my other clients a lot of things about me and they were upset and they started coming to me asking me to make her shut up but I told them she has a right to say what she wants and as long as we knew the truth we had no worries and they allowed her to but they where very upset. The next day she had me under investigation for sexual assault and although I knew the allegations wouldn’t stick because our facility has amazing cameras and we even have sound recorders but per protocol I had to be on emergency leave until my investigation was over and this pissed off my other clients because they depended on me being there. I was out 15 days but what really irritated me was that this same child went to jail for hurting another staff who does nothing at the job and I was irritated that I wasn’t able to save this child but I do understand that I can not save them all. I later found out this staff lied on her and despite all this child spoke against me, I was upset that staff ( the very people who are supposed to be there to help these kids) lied on this child. I was furious!
These two trials I know God gave them to me for a reason and I have kept my faith but I know this job is a stepping stone preparing me for my upcoming career. I am learning that I can’t help everyone and only those who want the help will allow themselves to be helped. I know that I will have to choose the right staff that understands the consequences that come with working in this type of environment. Although I know this is my calling I must admit I am nervous but I know God will lead the way and I will be successful in the work He has called me to do. I just have to continue to pray and allow God to have His way in my life and to use me as a willing vessel.
My passion is kids but my drive is God and together this will be a success.