The moment when God steps into your life and you see things through a different light. Yea that’s me! So I have been celibate a while now (praises up) but it was a time when it seemed my nights where long and I couldn’t sleep without thinking about sex. Sex was something I needed and I didn’t care how everyone looked at me because I was responsible in my eyes and only kept one partner. As we all know that don’t mean that one partner has only you.
Anyways, moving on I just want to thank God for helping me understand this journey and what this journey has meant to me. I remember always wanting to be a virgin when I got married but of course that didn’t happen. So after the rape I started having sex to fill a void in myself and to feel wanted since I felt like no guy would look at me as a wife now that I was no longer a virgin. That led to broken relationships, depression and lack of ambition. It was boring after a while and I did it because I was alone.
But God! He stepped in and showed me how to reclaim my life and how I could get things in order and back on track. I gave my life over to His works and allowed Him to use me as He sees fit. It hasn’t been an easy trip but it’s been worth it. No more heartaches from lying men trying to maintain more than one relationship. No nothing, I have been happy being who I am while I wait on my future husband. My friends are always asking how can I go without sex but it’s not that hard when I look at their relations because it seems they are always changing because either it gets boring or they move on. So what‘s the benefit of that. While I wait I am building a better relationship with God, my kids and allowing the Lord to prepare me for my husband. I also clear out debt and make money while I wait. Not everything is about sex and I rest well, no lying, cheating, diseases and no better protection than not having sex period.
Many people will have something to say but my joy comes from the Lord. It’s never too late to give him our lives. I am so glad I gave him mine and now as I wait on my Boaz, God is blessing me in other areas. I don’t want to embarrass my husband in any way and while God works on me, I know he’s working on him.