Written may 11,2016
Hello fellow bloggers and followers,
It’s raining here and it started out as a storm. As I sit at work listening to the sound of the rain as it hits the ground I am praising God for His wonderful message: This Too Shall Pass!
In life we go through things that sometimes stir our emotions up and we wonder how will we get through to the next day but God always comes to comfort us. Over the past few months things have been an emotional rollercoaster for me, some past things I was trying to understand and some new things I was trying to grasp. I had to ease my mind by talking t God and letting Him know what was on my heart.
You see He knows all we go through but it helps to voice it to Him just the same. Sometimes hearing yourself speak the words, give you the outlook on how the situation truly is. I learned that when talking to God, He allows the true information to come out so you can get to the root of the problem. I’ve been fighting a few demons in my life and talking to God has really shed light on a lot of things.
You see although I am still celibate, I had a fear that I would not be able to submit to my husband and m desire would probably be gone. I talked to friends and some was saying they didn’t see the issue with finding a friend but that didn’t settle right with me. some was full of encouragement that this would not be an issue. I was still in my feelings about not being able to fulfill that part of my marriage. I know it may sound silly but it was on my mind, so I had to talk to God about it. He assured me that when the time is right I would have that desire for my husband. Some may say, you should not talk to God about such mediocre things, but the Lord I serve has given me permission to share everything with Him, besides He is Lord, we can’t hide anything from our Father.
I have a desire to be married and although it has always been a mission of mine to love and be loved, I must admit over the years and after dealing with a few bad relationships I was really ready to say no to love but kept that desire burning in my heart and soul. I would love to some day see the man I love standing at the altar ready to commit to me and our family. I don’t want just any man but someone godly and ready to be the man God has created him to be.
I hear many talk of marriage as a past era in life and talk ass if it’s something not sought anymore but my heart won’t be engulfed by the hype. I see marriages ruined daily and spouses on the hunt for prey but I do believe there are still people in this world who truly respect vows and unions as God meant for them to be. I still believe in love! I know there’s a father in Heaven who is in charge of writing my love story, so for now I’ll patiently wait until my Boaz arrive.
Another thing was bothering me was the fact that I am unable to write. It’s like I got to a certain spot and writer’s block took over and never left.