Well followers and friends, I started this journey with a vision from God telling me to tell my truth and I didn’t want to disappoint Him but I had my doubts in myself about revealing myself to the world. I would have to de robe and put my life out there for all to see leaving me naked in the eyes of the public. I felt He was taking me down a path that would allow me to be vulnerable no more about my path, so I dug right in.
After a few months I found myself dead lock on what to tell the world and how to explain the darkness of my life but I knew the Lord I served did not place more on me than I could bear, so I continued to pray and write. It appeared that I was getting better at telling my truth but some thing was still holding me back in actually getting my message to others. I wondered if this was God’s way of just making me get it to the surface to deal with it in a new way. I had to open my eyes.
Well friends I have prayed about this so much and God has given me my truth. I was told to write about my life and I naturally assumed he meant my story as Martha and I needed to pray for clarity and really focus on his message and teaching. We get so worked up when he asks us to do something that we get overwhelmed and inadequate at getting the job done that we forget he is not a God of confusion and he will provide answers when we seem lost. I was lost about his assignment!
I finally found myself talking to him after a hectic day and asking him to show me the message he wanted me to share with people and the purpose behind me writing and he did. Now when he initially gave me my answer to what it was he wanted from me, I was flabbergasted that he would choose me to write such an amazing message. I knew very little about the subject outside of America but he made sure I got information and it is still coming in as we speak. I must admit I’m a little nervous but I am also anxious to learn and to do the assignment given to me by my Father. It still shocks me that he would give such a task to me of all people.
Now if you believe in Christ and know Him then you know when he ask you to do something he lays it on your heart and won’t allow you to rest until you focus on his will. This has been heavy on my heart and once I started reading all the information he was sending to me I was filled with such joy and conviction and didn’t know what to do because the material presented to me had me feeling some way.
I found myself enraged at myself that I didn’t know much about this topic being that I was a black woman. God’s new direction was for me to tell the truth of black people and to get them to understand that he loves us. I felt such guilt in my heart because as a black woman I have found myself on the fence about so much that has been happening around me and now God is revealing the truth to me. I cry thinking about the lies I have been told and the lies I have allowed myself to teach my kids and those around me and now for him to show me so much has me on edge.
I was once that very woman who did not like the title of being called African-American because I had never visited Africa and I was born as an American but it is truly about being united with black people around the world and coming together as a united team despite our locations. It brings me to tears to know how blind I have been and for him to put this in my hands made me see how misinformed I am.
I was once the little girl who did not like my natural hair, skin and etc and now I embrace every inch of me. I know God’s love for my people and how we have gotten lost in the very lies of man. It saddens me to know how our own people have over the years torn their own down for profit. God is such an amazing love in my life and with his new direction I have been blessed beyond anything I could ever image.
It took him sending me this insight to clear my head and to enlighten myself about the truth of him and his love for us all. I can’t speak on any other race but my own but I can tell my truth through his words and share with my people his vision for our lives. I have asked how my message would get out being that I am new to writing but I know if God sent me this knowledge to share, I just need to do the work and he will do the rest.
My first writing filled my heart with great pains from fear of being outcast by my peers but I remembered the reason behind my writings. I then wondered about making sure I was not aggressive because of those I called friends but then I realized my friends loved me and knew I was not racist but that I was growing into the woman God had called me to be. I Truthfully if they were my friends they would understand that when God calls you to do something you do it. If I lose friends along the way then can I say they were truly my friends. I find myself in tears thinking about his love and his sacrifices for us all and I know I am able to make some sacrifices for him.
This is my life to do the work of God who sent his son to die for my sins although he had no sins to account for. I only hope to make him proud of the task given to me and I know if it came from him, he will see me through.
This is something to uplift our people and get them to realize that God did not vanish us to some island to be isolated but we were made to stand out. We are his people and he loves us just the same. The things we are currently facing where not his ideas but the ideas of man because we were blinded by the things handed to us versus taking the time to check our facts and history. If we never hear the truth then how would we know the difference unless we research the facts that are there. I have always read but the materials that filled my brain was never worth me telling because it was trash to occupy my time.
Now that God’s word and inspirational materials have taken over I have been given knowledge and God has left it to me to share with my people. To enlighten us all and not just myself. I will be doing this by my blogs, videos and speaking engagements and by any other method he chooses for me to use. God is so awesome and I can’t help but praise him because he is my Father, provider, protector and healer and through his work I will prevail. I will help my brothers and sisters see the world through different lenses. My writing will take on a different spin and my videos will truly be saw differently because my speech is greater.
I am passionate about this message and the fact that God is using me in his way and while doing his work he is enlighten me about a lot. I will continue to pray and research while doing the mission he has placed me on. I am blessed to be his child.