Hidden Worlds

darkness-as-me

Today my followers have been stressful and I have to cry out to God for his comfort. I started out with concerns about my oldest and I, so as I got on the road to work my spirit was not right. Once there I found myself not wanting to even get out the car and debating on whether to stay. I sat until the very last-minute just listening to my gospel and trying to get myself prepared but nothing was working.

I got started to the building and one of my boys decided he wanted to be playful and I snapped and caught myself speaking before I knew the words to say. I got into the building and was immediately annoyed by my boss because once again I was floating to another unit. I chose the unit I would go to thinking I would have a better mood by the time I got there but I was turned around and sent back to the unit I was helping the day before.

Now I was in blood rush and my anger was fueled but I decided to give it my best shot. The girls were ready to get the evening started and it seemed my day and mood was rising. I knew God was doing this for a reason and I was just going to get through it with strength from him. My day turned into a whirlwind fast.

One of my clients went off and it triggered young girls to go back in time when things weren’t so good. These girls have been beat, raped, molested and so much more. Seeing them go into this state of course was difficult for me and having to console them to get them to come back to reality was a test for sure. One I am blessed to have already mastered in some form. It showed me how difficult it is for some to over come such barriers in their life. It really took me into another time and I had to get right in my spirit in order to help them.

People who have never filled their shoes can’t understand how something as noise can take you back to dark places but to have experienced it really shakes you up when you have dealt with it. Although I was able to get past my own problems to assist with theirs means God has grown me a lot.

Those hidden places in our lives can tear down walls we put in place. They can set you up to be destroyed or to destroy yourself. They take you to times when you were taken at your lowest and broken at the hands of others. They hold you and break away every good thing around you and sometimes you have to wonder if anyone is for you when you go through something like that. To see so many of the girls snap really shows you that you are not alone and that God has you on a greater mission and in that mission you bring herself to greater healing.

As I took a moment to sit in my car and think I can’t continue to sit by and let my story go unheard. There’s someone who needs to hear that we can overcome this and live better lives. As I got in my car to head home I had to really just put my heart in God’s hands and ask him to console those girls and the other kids I work with. I start to cry thinking about all I endured and how God has blessed me and how he allowed me to be there for each one of those girls tonight in one way or another. I’m blessed because he loves me and I will continue to do his work.

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