What is friendship?
The gathering of a group of people who you can depend on through good and bad times. Those you smile with and cry with but all the while never leaving their side. The very people whether men or women that know your family, your hidden secrets, the ups and downs of you that you trust to keep all information about you silent and those you don’t have to worry about lying on you to be successful in life. The celebrate your blessings and console you through your trials. You may not talk daily but these are the people you know will be there in the end.
Well I met this young lady during training and I am so blessed that God showed me her true colors before I allowed her into my life. When we initially met, she was cool, down to earth and very head strong and I decided I would talk to her because I could see a little fear in her about the job we were both taking on. I had already broken the barrier of this job and had years experience and I chose to help her jump this hurdle with confidence to get her through training and to mentor her if she needed it along the way.
I advised her that due to the work environment and the clientele we catered too that guys would attack her from view because they were predators when it came to hormones. She assured me from jump that she was deep into her relationship and nothing would break that. I told her about appearance and the need to be strong because once they knew they could manipulate her, her job wouldn’t be worth coming too because they would make the environment toxic.
Right off the bat, men were drawn to her and the boys were no different. Although she had fair warning she fell victim to the attention and sought it in every fashion. I for one had spoken about my lack of interest in men who were married, engaged or in a relationship because I could not see myself destroying someone’s home or being the reason another woman’s feelings were hurt. She claimed to speak the same. I also noticed that during training I saw two different people in her, one that I did not like and she was the hood chick. The ghetto girl from the project who did not know how to talk in public but then I saw the preppy white girl who voice was soft, sweet and well rounded. I thought maybe she thought this was the persona she needed around me because I was black but then I learned she was from the hood and she would imitate what she saw from others around her especially men.
Well shortly after making it through training I saw another side of her. She was very needy and needed a lot of attention from others to make herself feel better. Her self-esteem was low and it showed in everything she did. I’m not one for the spot light, I like to sit back quietly and observe especially when at work because I work with children with dark backgrounds and criminal histories I need to observe them and what they do at all times to protect myself and others. She would get upset if she saw male or female staff talk to me and not her. She felt the need to change her voice around all male employees and to carry herself in certain ways that would later be a problem. Now she quickly adapted to me and started calling me a friend which was fine if you know anything about friendship then you know friends don’t embellish stories about other friends.
Well because of my current place in life it seemed the married or taken population quickly took to me and a lot of those people would chat with me at work and she would easily get offended because I was getting the attention she so desired. She was getting more attention then me but from those who were married or in relationships but wanted to step out and play and that was not the kind of people I wanted to include myself around. She would tell me about the guys trying to talk to her and the numbers she would get as if to let me know she was wanted but clearly she had already told me she was in a relationship. So I was now seeing that her relationship had no value to it because if you loved this man the way you claimed getting this type of attention would not satisfy you in anyway and you would not be entertaining the ideas and conversations of these guys.
Well I started pulling myself from her because I did not want anyone to see us together and naturally assume I was condoning her actions or that we were the same as for as values and morals. Well she was still calling me a friend and every now and then I would pull her to the side to give her a reminder that this job could be fun or it could be damaging to one’s character and to be safe. She assured me she was fine. Well after several male friends had acquired her number and more was coming I told her that they were probably talking among themselves, being they were all friends, about what was transpiring but being naive she felt it wasn’t possible. So I left it alone and decided it wasn’t worth my time.
Well a older coworker pulled me to the side and told me she needed to give me some information about something that was said to her because she did not want someone lying on me and ruining my reputation because she had great respect for me. Well she said this same girl came and told her that I was liking one staff and talking to another one and that I was in a relationship. Well this was hilarious to me and although I know I need not explain myself to anyone I felt the need to enlighten this lady that I had no worries and my respect was in tact. I told her that I entertain no male staff and that one of the members she so willingly put with me had never even held a conversation with me. I thanked her for telling me and assured her that the story given was no where close to truth.
After a moment I was irritated with the fact she lied on me and dragged another person into her lies. The fact that she tried to pawn her lifestyle on to me was funny. Needless to say she can no longer call me a friend. As friends we honor one another and she has tried to dishonor my title. As a woman I carry myself with dignity, respect and morals because I want people to see the true me and not what I feel they should. The fact she has to come to work and lie about her social status and household makes her unworthy to be called my friend. When you are friends with someone their background should not deter you from interacting with them but their personality and character defines how you interact with them. To know it was easier for her to lie on me than to tell her truth allows me to break free from her with no remorse.
Be careful of the company you keep because not everyone is friend worthy. Pray for those who try to drag you down in their foolishness. Some people need the spot light and need to gain the support of others to repair their damaged egos. When building up ones self you have to love yourself first because you’ll damage any relationship you try to have with others and she has truly ruined our friendship.