Social Ignorance!

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Hello fellow followers,

This post infuriates me for many reasons but the caption alone is disrespectful. First, her family looks well taken care of and from this picture they look happy and loved. Now this post basically states that because she has four children she has been passed around by men and have lost her value.

My perspective:

Some men walk around this Earth like Gods flossing their immaculate credit, fancy cars, nice homes and name brand clothes but got multiple kids running around here that they never support emotionally, physically, or financially. They finally settle down and still neglect the kids made outside their matrimonial bed. However, their lack of being there means the mother has to rise to the task of being both parents and providing. Being a single mother is not a hindrance but it is an emotional obligation.

A single mother does not have the ability to hide how many children she has because her are with her in the home in most cases. Her priority is her kids and a proud woman wears motherhood as a badge of honor. Men have the ability to withhold the number of kids they have because they don’t live with them. Women take the criticism because they are seen with their kids.

People neglect the reason behind a woman with multiple kids and naturally assume she’s been very promiscuous but there are other reasons. Reasons like: her marriage failed and her kids were a product of that union. Maybe she fell in love with the wrong man or she could have been raped. She could have adopted, could be fostering or her spouse passed away. They may not even be hers or maybe birth control failed and she was against abortion. There’s a million reasons behind why but it may just be the father did not want to take a picture.

I saw some of the comments being said and I’ll share two:

  1. It’s different cause most of our kids don’t stay with us men so the female don’t have to deal with ours on a daily or come out-of-pocket but her kids stay with her u got to deal with them 24/7 these females these days expect u to cover for the absence of them kids daddy that’s just to many maybe 1 but not that many.

2. Never date a chick with 4 kids…Nobody wants that dam headache. And it’s a 98% fact            it’s gonna be more than one baby daddy.smmfh. He went on to say,” Those the types            of chicks men marry and wanted to be considered a good man but don’t even take                  care of his own kids… There is always a sucker for love around every corner…ijs

Now that’s just some of the rubbish that people left and some were speaking up for the lady.

My response to these comments

  1. True most kids are not in the home with the father but if a man has kids whether one or multiple, a real woman is going to come out-of-pocket for his kids as well. She’ll open her home, heart and wallet because they are a part of him and she knows life happens. When you start a relationship with someone you’re willing to accept everything that is a part of that person. Sure being with a single mother requires a man to be a man but she’s not asking you to be their father, however, when you come into that environment loving, supporting and being a role model you acquire that role. When kids see a man in the household a part of their lives and caring and whether the father is present or not they adopt that other male as a parent.
  2. What headache? Females go through more headaches nowadays than a man dating a woman with multiple kids It’s not always multiple fathers but who’s to say and why is that a factor. Maybe she still can count her partners on one hand, these days most guys can’t. If a man marries her and has kids, from the picture, she looks like the type that would assist him in raising his own and being there for them. It does not mean that only deadbeats would marry her because of how many kids she has. However, it would take a real man in my eyes to marry her because she’s not blind to her strength. She knows that if he can’t step up, she can continue on her own and make it. She is also aware that she doesn’t have to put up with foolishness because her plate is already full. Suckers for love are those who love freely despite what they have gone through.

It saddens me even more to know that someone took the time to invade her privacy and saved her picture and made a distasteful meme with her children on it. So now not only are you ridiculing her but you have also put her kids under scrutiny.

Now let’s talk

Now there’s some women in this world with one child or multiples who never have their children for many reasons. They may have had numerous abortions, dropped them off at their grandmothers, in CPS custody, foster home, another relative, a neighbor, home alone, or the father has full custody. She may not possess the ability to cook, clean, read or write but look good and always fly. A saying I once heard said loose women are getting married while good women are going unnoticed. I now see this as true because men look at a picture versus the circumstances behind the picture. They jump at the image that looks nice and overlook the ones that lives life. You see women in the clubs twerking not concerned about the whereabouts of their kids but guys see them and fall in love until they realize she is not wife material.

I respect the woman in this picture because it is not easy being a single mother of four. I even see her as wife material and here is my reasons: She knows what she wants out of life because she has made mistakes in life and learned from them. She has also mastered the task of raising four young children on her own and therefore she would be the strength her husband needs when times get rough. She has the tenacity to provide and to survive life’s most challenge tasks. Cooking, cleaning and maintaining a household is now natural to her because she has four that has taught her how to master this task. A mother of four has no time for clubs every weekend because her kids are more important. She also knows the value of a dollar and hard work.

I’m a single mother of four boys and everyone knows my oldest son came from a rape and my other sons from long-term relationships, two from a ten-year relationship and one from a three-year and I am not ashamed to be their mother. I also know that in today’s society I may not be the image most men vision but my worth is not determined by them. My worth is determined by myself and God!  I’m not the normal female because my visions for my future becomes reality with every passing day. I also know I am not every man’s cup of tea but it would take a real man to love me and to cope with the life I have. I am not the lady you would find in the streets every weekend because my kids are more important than any club. Also most men you meet in the club are not the ones I would choose to share my life with nor the ones I would want around my kids. I also have my priorities in order and I know how to cook, clean and care for my family. A man who comes into my life would know he is appreciated for being a part of our family not only by me but also my children. I am not asking any man to come into our family and take over the role as father but he would have to be a role model in their lives and love them. If he has children they would become a part of my family and if he’s not active in his own kids life then I can not accept in my life. It is a simple thing because if he can’t love his own then I know he can’t love mine. I see women marry men with multiples and it is not a problem to love his children but it seems to be the normal double standard when it comes to women.

Financially, yes it’s hard but it is manageable and it can be done but it takes a real man who understands that sometimes relationships don’t work out but children should not stop a woman from love. Just because a woman has multiple kids does not prevent her from being a good wife nor does it make her less of a woman. She could have done a million things to prevent the birth of her children but even the Bible says be fruitful and multiple. So to condemn a woman because of the number of children she has is also limiting the prospects a man has. So before you go judging her, talk to her and get to know her. She may be the woman of your dreams and she may have a game plan down that you didn’t even think of. Also people be aware of the damage we do when posting things on social media that uses photos of children. Think about if it was your children and someone did this to you and millions share your private post and make it into something this distasteful.

Huffington Post published an article about 7 reasons to date a single mom

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2015/06/12/you-should-date-a-single-mom_n_7563900.html

Eharmony also published an article about dating a single mom

15 Reasons to Date a Single Mom

Even Dr. FarrahGray published a post about dating a single mom

http://www.farrahgray.com/12-reasons-smart-date-single-mom/

 

 

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