So work has been a test that have come unexpectedly and it is really taking its toll on me. First my supervisor has decided to leave and take on a new job. I really have no problem with this being that she is one of the reason our unit has such a high turn-over rate as for as staff. She is a person who see these children as kids but she overlooks the reason they are with us. She gives them rights that they should not have and allow them to go outside of the facilities rights. It gives them the idea that they run the facility and then they refuse to follow the rules laid out for them to be successfully discharged and to be productive citizens and children.
The flip side of that is the charge that is left has a nonchalant attitude and a lack of work ethic that puts a strain on the rest of the employees. His lack of effort to work with his staff and his judgement make staff members not put forth their best work because he only undermines their authority. The fact that he does not like to be disturbed after hours but has no problem doing it to his staff is a direct slap in the face. It’s hard to see other charges go above and beyond to help their people and he falls short every time.
Then there is the staff attitude that you have to deal with on a constant. You have those who are actually there to see these kids make progress to be better and then you have those who simple want a check. Those after the money makes the job a lot tougher than it is. They mistreat the kids, spend more time entertaining other staff than they do actually working and enforcing rules. What really irks my nerves is when you see so many taking on relationships with other staff that is married and then spending most of their day corresponding at work and act as if the kids don’t notice the mess they are doing but then ask them to follow your words but they have seen you lying.
I worked the other night without my own staff and it broke my heart to see how many children failed at following staff requests because they were fighting against correction for their actions. They were shouting the names of staff that allow them to do what they want but failed to see that those staff were not available and those there went by the book. I know they are children but I also know that these set of kids have behavior issues that do not allow them to live in their homes. They hurt people and animals out of anger and we as a adults have to give them structure in order for them to grow. Then people act as if they care only to pass the test of compassion but not the true test of helping.
I’ve seen kids come in and realize there is no teamwork between staff and easily turn staff on each other. I’ve seen them come in and work the program and realize they could do nothing and some staff would still see them through the program and they start to get worse. It’s hard to go to work and see so much disorder take place and not be able to speak about it.
The girl I started with has already started falling by the waist side because she has fallen victim to the attention the guys give her. She fails to acknowledge their marriages because for a moment she is getting the attention she wants from others that is not coming from within. So she gets dressed up to come to work, she is afraid to get dirty so she runs from restraints and she allows the children to manipulate her into things they know I do not allow. She is okay with screaming with staff but she fails to notice she is not a team player. So although I love my job I still walk on eggshells because this place is failing as a rehabilitation program for disturbed children.
I pray to God every night for these children and staff. Sometimes I have to pray twice as hard for myself to get through a day. I know God is watching and he knows my heart but he also know the task before me. I just hope order comes soon.