Once again hello fellow friends and bloggers. This post is a little late because I have been sleep most of the day. My energy level has been down but it may be just my medication but I am here now. First, all praises to God for all he has done in my life and all that he will do.
Well yesterday was my sister’s and nephew’s birthday and I can say I have came a long way. Usually I wouldn’t call her my sister but I would just call her by name to address who I was speaking about. Well they decided to have a get together in the park for my nephew and things. I usually don’t do these outings either since I normally don’t talk to them because of past issues and how they act around certain people. Well because I have given God total control of my life a lot has been happening. Yesterday proved it! I am growing as a person but better yet a child of God’s.
It was a few people at this event that I wouldn’t normally give the time of day because either I have been hurt by the person or the person has led a lifestyle I wish for my kids not to imagine for themselves. However, I was able first to be in the same area once again with my brother in law which I know was God. Then I actually was able to be around my nephew’s father and my brother in laws friends. Although my sister didn’t do much talking to me because her daughter in law was there I still had conversations among the people that where there. Me and my niece played around but overall it was a good day. We laughed, played and ate. I even got to exercise because after not eating much I walked home from the park which was about 3 to 4 miles so that was good.
During my walk home I ran into an old friend and he decided to speak. It was nice seeing him again! In our city I have a few guys who have liked me since I was fairly young and over time their feelings haven’t changed but our situations have and I am just not into the whole dating thing right now. I am really trying to wait on the Lord to send me the guy for me and if it’s someone from my city I know he will send him my way and he will know what to say to really get my time.
I have really been worried about my oldest, not anything serious but he has been working on his car. It was a graduation gift and now he has it moving again and it worries me because he doesn’t understand how things work so he feels like he knows everything right now. So I’m having to really take a step back and allow him to experience life for his self right now and let him know some things I won’t be able to fix.
I can see God is really working in my life. I was blessed to actually enjoy some family time without all the fussing, cussing and hatred. It was nice to see the kids and adults having fun without someone saying something crazy. It was nice to just sit back and soak in the moment. I had no past aggression toward anyone and I was able to truly forgive the people who hurt me , because I know God and his word.
I have also seen the devil working too because I have been celibate for a while and last night the urge was really strong and I was even dreaming about it but I had to really pray and have faith that God would get me through. It was weird because the temptation has been one that I have been able to fight off but last night it was really intense and the dreams were very vivid.
Also God sent me a financial blessing as well. That was truly a blessing needed and I am thankful for what the Lord sent. I have also been having dreams about this group that I was asked to be a part of and it seems to be something positive. I will still continue to pray about it because I want the Lord to lead me in his direction and not my own. I really must start praying when people ask me about things before I give them an answer but since this is in the making I still have the opportunity to really talk to God before I officially join the group.
The Lord is really with me and I am so thankful for where he is taking me. I know that I will not continue to struggle and that my breakthrough is coming. My faith is in God and all he wants me to do. I will praise him in this hall way until my storm is clear because without him I am nothing. The Lord is my shepherd. Bills are still mounting up, kids need school clothes, and we need things but I know the Lord will provide. I just have to keep praying and having faith because I am his child.
I love you but God loves you more