But God……


Hello fellow bloggers and friends, it’s been a few days since I have posted so allow me to fill you in but first allow me to apologize for not keeping up my writing because this is my gateway to getting my life back in order.

God is awesome as I shared my excitement for my birthday my emotions took a turn for the worse later in the evening. I guess it was partially due to nature and being a woman but my mood shifted suddenly and I no longer wanted to be bothered with anyone. My sister had called and asked me to take her daughter to an outside town to get some things and to also take my nephew’s friend somewhere as well. Well I didn’t quite understand the reasoning behind this being that it was my birthday and I would have to drive her vehicle and both her and my nephew was home so I hesitated in saying yes. Well my sister got upset and decided to take them herself. That was fine because at this point my mood had already shifted so I no longer had to go anywhere and could just lounge around. Then my sister’s husband called our home, this is not normal and if you have read my previous blogs you would know I don’t talk to him. However, God has been working on me and I have been able to be in a room with him without hatred being in my heart, well he actually called to wish me a happy birthday and asked if I needed anything. Although I would not take anything from him, I did say thanks for wishing me a happy birthday and thanks for the offer but no thanks. I was able to see that God is working on me because I never acknowledge him. If he speaks I walk past him and try to avoid all contact with him but God is allowing me to grow. I don’t have to forgive him for him because it’s not for him but I have to forgive because I want to be like Christ. If Christ can forgive me for all the mistakes I have made in life and the sins I have committed against others, then I have to forgive him for the sins he committed against me. I am not saying that I have forgotten his actions against me because that would not be true. What I am saying is that I have gotten to a place in life where I know God will protect me and the Lord has promised that one day he would make my enemy my footstool. Also I got a lot of posts from Facebook which was great because normally I don’t post my birthday on Facebook.

I may have also been a little depressed by hearing on my birthday that a family I knew lost a loved one and a friend of the family lost her husband, both the same guy. I knew of him but never knew him but his wife I knew. She had been hurt a lot from past relationships and they had ended up together. She devoted herself to this man and despite all the trials they had been through she hung in there until she became his wife. The saying is, “it is better to have loved than to have never loved at all.” They had just celebrated their first year of marriage in June and now the Lord was calling him home. The love of her life slipped away before her eyes after suffering a heart attack. I can’t imagine how she must have felt because this is something I haven’t had to experience but I know her heart had to be heavy from such lost. My heart hurt for her and I really felt like she got what she wanted, even if it lasted a year. She had true love and the memories God gave her to cherish is more than what some of us ever get. She showed the world how much she loved this man and it was evident in all she did. As I scrolled down my news feed I saw how much this man had touched so many people during his life and my heart went out to his family and her even more because so many were sharing the moments they had with him giving his wife and family even more memories to cherish because he appeared to be a very loving man. It’s always hard to lose someone you love but I only pray that the Lord comforts them all and give them the understanding they need to cope with this loss. I pray that they all understand that he is no longer in pain and that now he is home free from traveling this world, free of pain and heartache and now he can rest while he waits for his family to return home. For we are only visitors passing by and when it is our time God will call for us to return home and I pray that when that day comes we have made our peace with God. Please say a prayer for their family and his wife.

Then on the 5th I got a lot of things done. I got my son registered for school and applied for some more jobs and ran into someone I hadn’t seen in a while. I walked to run my errands being that I am trying to lose weight and had failed to get up early enough to do my morning walk so I did it in the evening. Thank God for favor because it was hot but I made it and the Lord allowed the strength and endurance to do it and he gave me wind along the way.

Then technically yesterday the 6th, a cousin had posted on Facebook that she wanted to start a women group here in our little city. Well this has been something has been on my mind a while but because I know my city I knew that people would not attend based on the person who started it, not based on the purpose behind the group. I am not the only one who has thought about this but I feel like the lady who posted it got a lot of responses about people wanting to be a part of it, so my thing was it don’t matter who starts it, if it’s going to be positive and productive with God has the main focus then, hey I am all in. Besides, like I said it had been something that crossed my mind so let me see how it goes.

Well if you remember my mission was to share my story with people and help them build a stronger relationship with God through my story. I feel like God asked me to do but I limited myself because I ran to start my blogging with every intention on sharing my story with the people in my community but once I got started sharing my story I started purposefully hiding it from the people in my community but that’s not what God wanted me to do because that limits the blessings that God has given me to share with people. So when I commented on her post about wanting to start this group. She turned around and inboxed me and shared with me how my posts and things were encouraging to her and things she was going through. She also shared how she would like my ideas about her group and my help if possible. So being that I have been a part of setting up a group or two I went to offer my assistance and God knows what to do and when to do it.

When I made it to her home, she started telling me about her marriage and things. Well my marriage was similar to hers and I gave her my advice but I asked her to pray about her situation and allow God to show her what was best for her circumstances because we all have to follow his wishes for our life and because my marriage failed, it may not be in God’s plan for her marriage to fail. Well I found myself sharing some of the things I have been through in my life. You see God! God started using me to testify how good he had been to me and I realized here I was telling this woman some intimate stuff about my life, God was present and telling me this is what he called me to do. So she asked me to be a constant in her group because she thought that I had a lot to share and I could also help make this group something positive for our fallen community. I can only say that was God because he had called me to do something but I wasn’t doing enough.

Well she held her first two meetings today and they were productive, not a lot of people but it was last minute. I shared a lot of my life with these women and I took a lot from listening to them. I will pray about being a member of this group but I think the Lord has already spoken to me but I will ask for confirmation. I believe this group would be beneficial to the community we live and surrounding areas. I just know the Lord is working on me because some of the members I may not be fond of but I am an adult and I can forgive and work as a team member to give our community about vibe to visitors and a better visual to our kids seeing adults work together instead of breaking us down.

God is still providing and sending me into directions that he wants me to go in. I was able to talk to these women and have adult conversations without everyone arguing and bickering back and forth. These women seemed to have the best interest of the group, the women, the kids and the community at heart. I loved bringing back the village to raise kids because in this day in age it takes that village. Well friends and bloggers I’m ready to see where this adventure leads because God is working miracles right before my eyes.

I love you but God loves you more!


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