Child Support

jnjnjnLet’s discuss child support from both sides. Yes, I know I’m stepping away from my normal topic but I too have to deal with these matters and I have seen too much to stay quiet.

First, I believe child support is money given to the custodial parent for the upbringing of a child that both the custodial and non-custodial parent made together. Now for whatever reason they were unable to stay together or figure out co-parenting strategies that would accommodate both them and the child. I personally feel like if two parents are able to put aside their difference to help raise their child/children then child support should not be an issue but in most instances this is not the case.

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This seems like the dream family. A family that consists of two parents and their children. They are both interacting with their kids and all appear happy and we are discussing the good not what may or may not be going on behind close doors. I know that I did not have children in my future plan but I did have dreams of marriage and stability if kids did come into play. I wanted them to be raised by both parents and have an example of what life was all about.

Here in this picture, no I do not know this family, but it seems like a loving home where both parents are providing for their kids. Both parents may work or just one but the kids are being nourished by both. They see their parents interacting with each other and they know that if something goes wrong they both parents to protect them and discipline them. As shown here there is two boys so the father is around to show them how to be men and to give the talk about life and to answer any questions they may have. He is also there to show them how to treat and love a woman. Their mother is there to show them how a woman should treat her boys and how to provide and care for their families. They have stability and the security of knowing that both parents are giving them the knowledge they need to have a better and productive life.

This type of family don’t need a child support case because the support of the child is on both shoulders because both parents are in the home. They are both being active and supportive in their children’s lives. They are providing the bond their kids need and the financial, spiritual, emotional, and spiritual needs of their children come from them. This is the idea family but this is not reality for all.

Co-Parenting

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This is when two parents can no longer be with each other but have kids. This is when things get tricky because emotions can get tangled and people can lose sight easily. If the parents are able to look past their own issues and anger then this can be worked out among the two. People must realize it takes two to bring a child into this world, so it takes two to raise a child. So when a divorce, separation, split or whatever happens it’s best to really think of the kids.

However, there’s an ugly side to this because of emotions or the lack of support. When parents split up things happen, some things are out of our control but some things are not. Now both parties are living off one income and money becomes an issue. In most instances the mother becomes the custodial parent and the father is the non custodial. Now one parent may make less money or no money at all depending on the situation. This may be the case when one parent was a stay at home parent. In these circumstances two adult parents can sit down and discuss a way to support the child until the other parent gets on their feet or the necessary precautions to rectify the situation.

Then, you have the man or woman scorn so they fight more than usual and they don’t care who is around. This is when selfishness comes in and common sense goes out. Now because of their hatred toward each other they forget about the welfare of the child. So using the single mom as an example here, she starts to separate him from his kids placing all kinds of restrictions on when he can see them and then he decides he’s not paying her anything because he shouldn’t have too and so on.

I’ve seen a man and woman who were great parents together but a part she was a crazy lady. Her ex helped pay bills and he would buy anything that the kids asked for that she couldn’t afford on her own. Now because they were no longer together because of her infidelity, (she created another child while they were together that wasn’t his but non the less he supported), she flipped out and told him that no other woman was allowed around her kids unless he was married to her but the same didn’t go for her self. Although, he was a wonderful father she was bitter and couldn’t see past the fact that he left her so she went to great lengths to keep him from his kids. She even went as far as calling the police and CPS on him during his time with the kids because she said he abused their daughter (his biological child). The police arrived and everything and was prepared to take him away in cuffs despite the fact they found no signs of abuse or neglect but she also stated he hit her and threatened her life. It took his landlord to save him and in the end she went to jail but not before this whole ordeal happened in front of the kids. She had the perfect set-up because she lived with someone who wasn’t able to support her life style but she had an ex who was doing it because she was the mother of his kids.  She allowed her emotions to get the best of her and she forgot to put the interest of her kids ahead of her feelings.

Child Support Order

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This is when most people run to child support, some because they have to others because they want to. Here’s my take. Child support means money paid by the non-custodial parent to the custodial parent to help with the care of the child/ children the two made. This would include but not limited to: lights, water, gas, rent, clothing, shoes, food, grooming, activities, day care, or etc that the child needs or participates in. This may also include birthday and Christmas if the other parent can not be there.

Now I heard a young lady on Facebook, via a video that was circulating, say that a man/woman has no right to ask for child support because if the child was not born you would still have to provide these necessities for ones self, which is true, but as a parent you know bills can double even triple when you have kids. She was mainly saying that her boyfriend should not be disturbed when they are resting to take care of his child’s need because the mother has to provide for herself so the kids benefit from that. I know! Ignorance at it’s best.

I also had my own son’s father to tell me something similiar. He said that a mother should never put a father on child support because it makes the child hate the mother when he realizes she tried to force him to play daddy. Anyone who has read my blog knows my oldest and youngest are truly unique kids. My oldest was conceived by rape and my youngest was conceived through trickery because they thought I would stay with them if I was pregnant but we were never the relationship team. Now because I still did not stay, he does not wish to participate in the upbringing of my son. Anyways he likes to say I am forcing him to be a father because now that our son is here I feel like he should help take care of him either by actions (

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