It’s been a few days since I have posted but I am blessed. I am truly in a better place right now in my life. God has truly been working on the person I am becoming.
Well I had a job interview with a company that found me on a site that had an old resume. I was excited to get the offer but even more excited that they came looking for me versus me looking for them. The interview went well and the company sounded great. They seemed to have great incentives, a system in place to move up the corporate ladder and they seemed to really be a family oriented company. Well they offered me a job and I was happy to be considered but needed to get everything else in order. They set me up a time and date to start my orientation and things. Well that turned out to not be in their favor. They wrote me out a card that had my starting information on it. Later they changed the date and time but did not alert me to these changes. Then they gave me one shift but then changed it too and my orientation was also changed. It was a mess because now that I have done everything I have no start date because the time they gave me conflicted with my motherly duties because the hours don’t allow an open schedule for a sitter. However, I did see that they offer a break room that allows their employees a variety of meals and snacks both healthy and fattening, depending on their taste buds. I also heard the lady tell a new mom that they had a mother and me room for those mothers who had newborns and needed to pump for their children. That was a great bonus and something I think every job should offer but glad it was offered here. Anyways, I now if it’s meant for me God will work it all out and if it’s not then I know he has something better in store for me.
Well my utilities are still on and it’s all because of God. He has been working in my favor and I’m so elated to have such an awesome Father who loves me with such a passion that even during my weak moments he comes to rescue me. Things have been marvelous because I am no longer in control of things but I now know that my Father has the best plans for me. I finally understand that my trust issues were the blocking factor in me allowing the Lord control over my life. I often wondered if he was real and if I could go through so much so early in life than was he really watching over me. Now I know that I can trust him with every fiber of my being. I know that we all have free will but if we choose to follow him then we are obligated to do what’s right. So I am able to count it all as joy the good and the bad. I know he will never leave me nor forsake me and during those times I had been a victim of someone’s free will but because I was not focused I endured a few things but they are all working out for my good. It’s amazing to know when I felt like I was drowning, that I would be saved by such a powerful lifeguard who walked on water but had the strength to bring me through anything.
The boys are wonderful and I so love being a mom. My oldest celebrated his 18th birthday and that was bittersweet for me. I am so glad God has watched over him for this long and pray that he continues to keep his protection around him. With everything going on today, I worry about him and others but I know God will continue to provide and everything will be alright. He’s been having his own feelings about God and free will but I am so fortunate to be blessed to have a son who shares so much with me, that gives me the opportunity to talk with him first and to get him the answers he needs and if I can’t answer then I can point him in the right direction. I don’t want the world to raise him or guide him down a path that was not created for him so I try to give him the guidance he needs and a strong foundation in Christ. My other boys are little but I still try to give them the same opportunities as my oldest but with better guidance because I’ve had practice as a parent to raise them but with my oldest I was just learning and making mistakes. I always pray that God will lead them on the path he has planned for them. It has been hard being a single mom, the challenges, the life talks and sex chats but through God I have gotten one son through and I am praying to get the other three through.
Well I am still addiction free, I have not had a dip and I can only look up and say thank you Jesus. It feels good to know that a habit that I had developed before my teen years was so easily broken by one prayer to God. Although it took determination and the drive to want to quit I know that is was by the grace of God that I have quit. My son just realized it yesterday! I have been behaving and staying focused on the bigger picture. I have nothing holding me back anymore from God’s love and blessings. Now to get back to work on getting back in shape. I have not been able to exercise since my injury but now I am well and ready to get my body in order. Mind, body and soul working on one accord. These are things I know I can change with God’s help and the things I can’t, I know God can.
I finally quit the other job. I guess I was holding on to my safety net and was hesitating but God has given me the strength to finally let go. It was a relief to finally walk away, although the clientele I worked with will be missed I know I will see them again even if it’s only a visit. Plus I have an awesome friend to watch over them while I am away. I just hate to leave them and not know what is going on with them. The hardest part of that job was losing those you are attached to or walking away from them. I pray for them all!
Anyways as you can see God is still with me and working on me. I’m smiling and happy despite all that is going on in my life. I know that God has some amazing plans for my life and the struggles I have been through and I am thankful for it all. I know that as a daughter of a King that I have an amazing trust fund but I also have an amazing father who loves me, supports me, provides for me and wants the very best for me. I know that as I look into this world I am ashamed of the way my brothers and sisters are carrying themselves and destroying our people for laughs. We are destroying the beautiful treasures God placed on this Earth with hatred and anger. If we don’t bring God back into this equation, then we will fall victim to a separate life. I believe God wants us to live as one, to praise as a unit and to worship along side one another. My brothers and sisters I may be going through a struggle but I will not allow my trials to separate me from others. My faith is in God so if I must be singled out let it be because of my love for Christ. I believe we are all blessed, just in different ways. I believed we are loved and we all have a purpose. Let the trials I have endured show you that we are not much different, we all must go through something to get to where he wants us to be.
I love you but God loves you more!