What Have I Done To You

Hello World,

What have I done to you? I was born during a time when I thought I was free. I came from a woman and delivered by a doctor. When God spoke life into me, he designed in his image. I stood for something and had a purpose for my life in his eyes. He created me to bleed, breathe and cry. My eyes opened and my limbs all moved and the heart in me beat. What have I done to you?

I was born labeled by the world as being African American, although I’ve never seen Africa except in movies, in pictures, and on maps. So why was this label attached to me, I have no idea but I learned about what others claimed to be my culture. I was called black because it seemed to fit their description of me. I never understood and it took me awhile to embrace who I was.

I was a young, black woman delivered into an unknown world and because of the color of my skin people decide how they will treat me. Racist, I wasn’t raised that way and it wasn’t a part of my up bringing because I always heard my family was filled with colors of ever race. So why did I feel so different? Did God create me to be a victim of this world or did society create these standards of acceptability.

I am black and my friends many shades of grey. (lol) Some claim to be biracial and others multiracial but I love them all the same. I guess you can say that I am a part of a beautiful rainbow and we blend quite well.

I write this today because I feel our world is slowly losing the very message God created this world to be. I am black and my friends come from all races and walks of life. Here’s the craziest things I’ve ever heard from the friends I embrace. These things are about me and how they view me in their eyes.

You are a black girl trapped in a white girls body – said because I have no butt

You’re truly country – I fish, hunt, and love four wheelers and country music

You’re so far from normal – I think outside the box

These are just a few but I embrace who I am and the people I have chosen to be around. I am sure we all see color except for those God chose to be make color blind.  However, many of us choose not to allow color to distract us from seeing a person for who he/she is. I do not hate people because of their color, sexuality or denomination. I see people for who they are.

I am me, silly, love God, love being a mom and trying new things. I am afraid of heights and claustaphobic. I speak properly when in a business or professional setting. Around my friends I am loud and filled with energy. I don’t sugar coat things because I respect honesty in people. I will comfort those in tears even if we’re not friends. I don’t like to see people cry and I will give a person down on their faith my last. So why am I the one you bash or when you see me you act as if I have a criminal past.

I don’t have a criminal past but was turned down for a job and the reason was funny. My friends say over the phone I sound white. So here is the story! I applied for a job in a different city because I wanted to relocate to a better place. A place where I could do things with my kids without having to travel just to find enjoyable things for them. A place that offered more and had better schools within close proximity but also still offered the comforts of the country atmosphere. Well when they called they talked to me well over an hour and before the called ended I had landed the job. I was told to come into the office the following week and do my paperwork and get my badge. Well I showed up and the facility was predominately white staffed but it was no doubt the job I was offered I was more than qualified for, my credentials spoke for themselves. Well everyone looked shocked as I entered the facility and asked for the supervisor. He came out to me meet me and as soon as our eyes met and I introduced myself his smile slowly started to fade. Once in his office he told me he was sorry but the job offers had already been filled by his assistant supervisor and he was sorry for the drive I had to make. I had noticed the sign outside because when I am sitting anywhere I always read postings around me. The sign had nine postings of positions that needed to be filled. Four was for the job I was called in for. Upon my departure I saw the sign had been removed and the secretary was standing in front of the bulletin with the sign in her hand. I simple thanked the guy for his time but inside there was so much more I wanted to say. A few days later I saw the same facility in an online posting. I was hired because he thought that my voice went along with my name Martha and he assumed I was white. I didn’t check the race on my application.

Needless to say I felt a little bad but here I am today. I’m me

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